Day 106 and Thoughts post-holiday

DAY 106. Happy to report that I maintained my weight loss over the holidays and all those Christmas parties. I definitely did not strictly adhere to the meal plan as of late, but I also did not go balls to the wall like I used to do around Christmas. I could berate myself and feel shitty that I fell off the wagon, but that's not going to help me at all. Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed my holidays and yes, I ate more than I should have, but I was smart about my endulging and did not gain weight. Moving on now. New day, new week, new year!

Killer workout with Sarah at TF+ on Saturday morning, along with Tracy and Cassandra. It had been a week since my last strength training session (I did get one cardio session in last week though), so it was a definite challenge. Did an extra 30 minutes of cardio with the workout and in total burned around 600 calories in 90 minutes. This morning when I woke up, everything was aching. Felt great.

One thing that is motivating me is the thoughts about my Christmas gifts and Boxing Day shopping. Once again, no new clothes. I don't expect my family to buy new clothes for me anymore, probably for fear that they won't fit, or that they can't find them in my size, or that they would be embarassed to ask me what size to get them in. It did bum me out to think about it. Perhaps it's a rather selfish way of thinking, but I want my boyfriend to be able to go out and buy me some sexy 'intimates' for Christmas. I want my family to see a nice sweater in a shop window and be able to find it in my size. I want to go out on Boxing Day and find great deals in my favourite regular-sized stores. Other than the new dress I bought before Christmas, I haven't bought anything new lately, with the optimism that over the next few months I'll be shopping for smaller sizes. It probably sounds vain and shallow, but I like fashion and clothes, and I want to be able to shop in any store, not just plus-size ones. I want to feel like I look beautiful and well-dressed and sexy... and more than that, I want to feel confident about it.

Beginning on Monday (why wait for the new year!?), I'm going to go back to doing the 4-week cleanse to jumpstart myself again. No dairy, no wheat, no alcohol. I got some great new cookbooks for Christmas so I'm sitting at my desk today, browsing through and finding some yummy new veggie ones to test out. Maybe as a mini-challenge, I'll test one out each Saturday and post a picture and my notes.

Happy New Year! I can't wait for 2014, it's going to be a good one.

Day 100 and Thoughts on the holidays

DAY 100. Christmas is just 2 sleeps away! Can't believe how fast time flies. This week has been mixed.

I used a little bit of my Christmas bonus to buy a new dress for the holidays, and I was able to buy a smaller size for the first time in awhile. The fit was so much better too, which made me so ridiculously happy. For the first time I took 3 dresses into the change room and didn't have a freak-out or have to struggle to get any one of them over my head or bust or hips. There is always that fear for me that the dress will seem like it's going on alright, but then it gets stuck midway and then I have to start yanking at it and praying that I don't rip it. It was a wonderful feeling of elation to fit into those dresses. This time, I actually had a choice of which one I wanted to buy, not just the first one that fit. I feel quite content just thinking back on it.

On the other hand, I didn't have a great weight loss this week. It didn't surprise me, as I had worked late many nights and had 2 Christmas parties. I'm really proud that I still got 3 workouts done this week despite the busy schedule. If you had told me 4 months ago "Katharine, in a few months, working out 3 times will seem like just a regular week, not even a great one" I would have laughed in your face. I'm really getting to be quite addicted to that wonderful feeling after a workout, that rush of endorphins and feeling of accomplishment and strength. I'm still feeling those thigh and glute exercises from Saturday!

For the next week, I will focus on maintaining my weight loss. It can be a challenge over the holidays, but definitely do-able. Beginning in the new year, I'm all set with my training plan for the Sun Run providing me with 3 sessions of cardio per week, and I bought my bootcamp package with Team Fitness with should keep me set for strength training for the next 10 weeks.

With New Year's resolution coming up soon I'm hoping our little TF+ group will have some new recruits... No time like the present!

Sun Run 2014!

One of my goals when I started the TF+ program was to run the Sun Run 10 km. Well, I've registered now and I'm getting excited. I'll be starting a training program in January to prep for it.

Healthy living and heart health are soooo important! Support me and help fund important research by making a small donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation!

http://www.fitforheart.ca/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=1087799&lis=0&kntae1087799=AE0D921A47334E0BAA0DBD8059CC68D7&supid=397856667

Day 94 and Thoughts on beginning the real test

DAY 94. My 3 months of the TF+ contest are up. Now begins the real test. It hasn't been easy so far, but it was easier having that commitment 3 times each week and knowing I couldn't stand up my teammates and the trainers. Now that I'll be responsible for myself (not that I wasn't before) getting my workouts in, I know it will be more challenging. Now the challenge will be balancing my finances and making the gym a priority in my spending, and making it a priority in my busy schedule. In the past it's always been an issue with me, saying that I'll go work out, then flaking out on myself. Well, it's crucial that I start kicking my own ass and not accepting any excuses from myself! No standing myself up! I know I'm capable of so much. I've already shown myself that even when I think I don't have anymore, there's always that last push.

I will still be doing the meal plan with Leanne for the next 9 months, and checking in each Saturday morning from home.

My short-term goals for the next 3 months:

1. maintain current weight loss over the holidays!
2. lose another 30-45 lbs by March 31st
3. beginning in January, start a couch-to-10km training plan to prep for the Sun Run
4. do 2 TF+ bootcamps per week
5. do 2 cardio days per week (which could include my running plan)
6. stick to the meal plan and check-in with Leanne each Saturday morning
7. do at least 1 blog entry per week to stay accountable!

My long-term goals for the rest of 2014:

1. lose a total of 136 lbs by September 15th
2. do the 10 km Vancouver Sun Run on April 27th (already registered!)
3. get myself into a bikini and feel good about it!

Day 87 and Thoughts on re-training myself

DAY 87. I feel like I've been neglecting my poor blog. Oh dear.

Last week was a bit of a disappointment. Because I was trying to do none days, which entail a lot of leafy greens, I found myself getting hungry after lunch and ended up eating off plan, like getting Subway from downstairs after I ate my salad. I wasn't surprised with the scale on Saturday morning, it showed a gain for the week.

I let Leanne know what was going on this week and she's modified the plan so that on a daily basis I have a high meal for breakfast (oatmeal and fruit, omelet and rye toast, etc), a low meal for lunch (stirfry and tofu, salad/veggies and salmon, etc), and a none meal for dinner (salad and fish or tofu), along with my snacks of apples/almonds, protein/almond milk shakes, and/or green smoothies. I think that this will help me stay on track again.

I know I can't beat myself up too much when I've been so good for almost 3 months now. Yes, I've had the occasional slip, but I am amazed with my own willpower. I do realize too that this will be a lifelong struggle... for a long time whatever I felt like eating, I ate. There was no filter. I basically had to teach myself the proper way to eat, like a small child. No Katharine pizza is not an everyday meal, no Katharine you don't need that much cheese, yes Katharine more veggies, yes Katharine drink up your water... To undo decades of bad eating will take a lot of strength and a lot of time. It can be really frustrating some days, just dealing with myself in this respect. I get irritated that I let myself be that way for so long that I've made things so challenging now. But I can't go back in time, all I can do is correct how I do things now. I have to be patient with myself.

Another thing that was resolved last week (finally!) was all the stress regarding my job. I made a decision and spoke to my bosses about it, so that's something off my plate and out of my mind for the time being. I had been offered a lucrative job at another company but after much consideration, I've decided to stay put. My quality of life is more important than money. I don't want to be commuting 2 hours each way and working late, sometimes 7 days a week, that would take away from my workout time! It's crazy how job stress can affect so much. I know I don't live to work or anything, but so much time is spent there, that any issues can seem to unbalance my whole little world.

On another note, my exercising has been great in the past few weeks still. I've been keeping that up. Saturday's workout was super sets with Sarah. Man my chest and arms were killing me after that one. Monday with Eric was intense. My heart rate stayed up near 150 bpm for almost the whole bootcamp and I burned 600 calories in 80 min. This morning I had my personal training session with Sarah. She had me do this one exercise using the TRX. It's a lot like a standing side plank. Anyhow, when she demonstrated it, it just looked like she was sticking out her hip and it seemed really easy. Yeah right. Geez, that one was insanely deceptive. Sarah couldn't stop grinning as I made contorted faces through the whole set and cursed at her. :)

Day 80 and Thoughts on my quarterly assessment and lessons learned so far

DAY 80. Because it's been 12 weeks yet (though not quite 90 days), we did our quarterly assessments last night at Team Fitness. I am so proud to say that in total so far I have lost 34.4 lbs and 28" (inches off my chest, waist, stomach, legs, arms). The body composition analysis also shows that I have lost over 20 lbs of fat. It made me really happy in particular to see that I've lost 5" off my stomach alone... amazing! Explains why sit-ups are getting to be, not necessarily easier, but I have a better range of motion so they're not quite so impossible. It's been wonderful to fit back into some of the clothes I've kept in the back of my closet too. It broke my heart when I outgrew some of my favourite dresses, so I'm ecstatic that I can wear them now.

Date	% Fat	Lbs Fat	Lbs LBM
2013-09-07	47.2	139	155
2013-12-03	44.8	117	145

Some inevitable truths I've learned over the past 12 weeks:

• Yes, sometimes I have bad days on which I want to give up, but I won't because I refuse to fail this time.
• Yes, sometimes being on a meal plan may seem restricting or repetitive, but that just means I can be more creative with finding new options and working with what I have.
• Yes, sometimes I will have mini meltdowns over trivial things (like last night and the dirty dishes), but it doesn't make me run for comfort food anymore.
• Yes, I have fallen prey to little cheats along the way (I am human for goodness sakes!), but I didn't let those derail me or send me into an insane binge or let me fall off the wagon.
• Yes, it is possible to change your mindset so that kale is just as good as potato chips (takes some practice).
• Yes, every muscle in my body seems to ache on different days, but I've learned to love that feeling.
• Yes, straightening my hair seems like a waste now, because I have to wash it after my workouts anyways.
• Yes, I still look silly sometimes when I'm working out, but I know that those around me are supportive of me, and those who aren't... well, they can pretty much suck it.
• Yes, garlic is one of the best seasonings in the world. And so handy for keeping away vampires! who needs that extra salt?!
• Yes, there will be cheese in my future, and it will be a delicious treat instead of a staple.
• Yes, I love myself (and others do too) at any size, but more importantly, I will lead a healthy life so I'm around for many years to come.
• Yes, push-ups are still awful. And so are stairs.

I'm so excited to keep going with this new lifestyle... can't wait to reassess in another 12 weeks and see how far I've come then!!!

Day 78 and Thoughts on cupcakes

DAY 78. It's been a great week, looking back on my goals after last week's less-than-stellar weigh-in, I hit them all pretty much. I did a good hard workout every day except Friday (wrestling with the tree was enough!). I even did a workout today before work, which I don't usually do on Sundays, as I like to have one day to sleep in. Unfortunately, the scale did not reflect my hard work this week :( only down 0.7 lb. So lame. It's really the first time where I was surprised and disappointed with the number on the scale. I honestly don't feel like it repesents my hard work this week. Last week with all the stress at work and stuff, I sort of expected the lower weight loss, but this week I kicked ass. I know I should be happy with every little bit, but when I literally ate nothing off plan, and up'ed my workouts, it pisses me off to see such a small loss. I'm hoping that next week will be a huge loss in compensation, or at least that I've lost some inches this week instead of pounds. Perhaps my body just needs time to mourn the loss of all those fat cells before letting them go...

I made another awesomely delicious dinner on Friday night... roasted beets and asparagus, green salad and seared Hawaiian opah filet. The opah filet was soooo good. If I didn't know better, I would have thought I was eating chicken. It was amazing. It is a little pricey, so I'll mostly stick with the salmon, tilapia and prawns that I usually buy, but as a special treat.... gah, so good. After dinner, my boyfriend and I decorated our Christmas tree... pretty much a perfect evening.

Last night I had a girls night with my friends. I could have just pretended it didn't happen and not write about it on my blog, but I want to stay accountable... I must fess up to eating a couple of mini cupcakes from Cupcakes. I hadn't intended to have any, but in a moment of weakness one ended up in my mouth. I'm not going to lie, after 10 weeks of no desserts, it was divine. I think I died a little bit inside, it was so good. I've never been much of a dessert person, but man, those little buggers are good. We did share some mojitos too, but we made sure to make them a light version, with mostly mint, club soda and some rum. Yes, I have been doing amazingly well this week, so I did feel guilty afterwards. As self-imposed retribution, rather than a 'high carb' day today, I'm making it a 'low carb' day. I also decided that today I had to do a kick ass workout to make up for it too. 

Goals for this week:

1. In addition to the 3 TF+ workouts, do at least 4 x 30 min cardio sessions.

2. Continue to get in my water and sleep.

3. Instead of 'low' days this week, switch to 'none' days.

4. Cut back on after-dinner plain popcorn snacks.

5. No wine allowance this week, due to Saturday night cheat. :(