Starting my journey... NO MORE EXCUSES!

Last Monday night after I found out about my win, I went home and sat down to tell my boyfriend about it. I really wanted to be open and honest about the whole endeavor, so that he could help me on my road to success. For the first time in our relationship, I actually told him my real weight, my weight loss goals, some of my struggles in the past, and the help and support I needed from him. It was really tough for me, I know that it might sound stupid but I was so afraid that if he knew my weight he would judge me or see me as someone he couldn’t love. Of course, he was so wonderful, reassuring and loving and supportive. He even offered to go through the cleansing phase of the meal plan with me as a show of solidarity, which I will hold him to J

Last Wednesday night I took my ‘before’ photos, against the white wall, tight fitting gym clothes. It was pretty brutal when I looked at them, I actually started crying. I know I have a lot of weight to lose, but when I look in the mirror, I certainly don’t see the person in those photos. It was an honest, unflinching and unflattering portrait. Wiping away tears, I called my best friend for a self-perception conference. She reminded me of how these before photos will just a trophy of my hard work someday, but more than that, she reminded me of how brave I am for putting myself out there publically and sharing my weight loss journey.

It’s funny, before this Team Fitness experience, I had always been super covert about my attempts at weight loss. I remember going to Weight Watchers meetings furtively, checking that no one I knew was around before darting in the door, jumping on the scale and trying to ensure that no one saw the number I was putting up. When co-workers and I held a mini-Biggest Loser competition, I never told my other friends or family. Perhaps I was afraid that I would fail so I didn’t want to disappoint anyone. However, without telling anyone what I’m trying to accomplish, how do I stay accountable? Plus, what was I afraid of, really? Am I afraid that if I admit that I’m overweight and need some motivation and support to get healthy people will make fun of me, like mean kids on the playground?? Since I started posting on Facebook this week, I have only had people say kind and encouraging things.  No more excuses.